Holy cow does time go by so fast?!?! I feel like this photo was just a few days ago and weeks ago at the same time. I think sleep deprivation and a week vacation at the lake will do that to you. Time's been flying past and I'm determined to get Hazel's birth story written down before I forget all the little details! So I'm going to take it back to the beginning....
Abby was 2.5 weeks early and came in the middle of the night on her own little schedule. So - I was pretty sure that Hazel would be the same. Of course, Hazel had her own little plan and it didn't involve being on my schedule...so she held out as long as possible and we ended up having her on her scheduled c-section day.
The day before her birthday was a Sunday and we had Bradley's third birthday party to attend so I was able to fill my time, and my mind with other things instead of focusing on the impending surgery and how big of a day the next day was going to be. It was actually really nice to have the distraction. Sunday night was pretty uneventful and I went to be early figuring it was the last night of decent sleep I'd be getting in awhile and knowing that I'd toss and turn the whole night with excitement/nerves.
Around 3 am I woke up to notice that the power was out. The power flashes pretty frequently at our house so I didn't think much of it...but it was pouring outside and the sump pumps have been running on overtime and I noticed that they weren't running anymore. With a finished basement and carpeted floors down there I got a little nervous about the rain....so I woke up Ryan to tell him that it wasn't working. He just rolled over, mumbled something about the battery backup and went back to sleep. I tossed and turned til 4:30ish when the power was still out and I needed to get up to shower one last time before leaving for the hospital. The doctor wanted me to wash with some special antiseptic wash before surgery but I wasn't interested in showering in a pitch black bathroom. Randomly the power came back on just in time which was good because Ryan realized that backups weren't working and we were getting really close to having water overflowing into the basement....phew!!!
I showered and we got on the road to the hospital. Erin's been staying with us all summer since she's in a show in the northern burbs so we left Abby sleeping and Erin stayed with her. My mom was heading into our house early that morning and would end up staying with us for the whole week helping with Abby while we were at the hospital and helping me on my first few days home...especially since daycare was closed for the 4th of July so I had Abby home with me as well.
When I had the c-section with Abby I got sick during surgery, the doctor quickly pushed some medicine to me and I felt better pretty quickly so I made sure to warn the doctor about my past experience and hoped that he could do something to avoid getting sick this time around. Unfortunately, that was NOT the case. I was hardly laying down on the table after the spinal tap before I started throwing up. Ryan came in shortly after and I was just happy to have him by my side and to hold his hand. I felt terrible and was so nervous for surgery but SO ready to know if we had a baby girl or boy....and get our life started as a family of 4.
Like I said, once we got to that point, things went pretty fast. The doctor asked Ryan if he wanted to peak around the curtain to see if it was a boy or a girl. He didn't see the surgery the last time around so we were both a little surprised that they asked...but he peaked around the curtain and he said "It's a girl!!". Not surprisingly, I started crying and just squeezed Ryan's hand. She wasn't crying at all so the doctor reassured us "She's totally fine, she's not crying, but she's healthy and everything is ok". It's interesting, because even now, nearly 4 weeks later Hazel really isn't a crier. She really is a good baby!
Hazel Frances McGrath
7 lb 5 oz, 19 inches
Born at 7:49 am
From this point on I pretty much loose track of time. I was still feeling sick and threw up at least one more time during surgery. I was so relieved that she was there and that she was ok.....but I really wasn't feeling well at all and I just wanted the surgery to be over. At some point between finding out that she was a girl, and being done with surgery, Ryan said he wanted to name her Hazel and I agreed. Our other girl name was Molly and I'd told him when we went into the hospital that morning that he could pick. Eventually they rolled me into recovery and I finally got a chance to hold Hazel. Those are some of the best moments of your life right there and I loved every minute of it. Sadly though, I was still feeling pretty sick and threw up a few more times during recovery. They gave me some medicine to help, but it just wasn't work for me.
After an hour or so in recovery they moved me into our room for the next few days. I continued to be sick all day until about 7pm. I was throwing up every hour or so and feeling pretty miserable. In fact, I felt so bad that had I felt this terrible after surgery with Abby I may have considered trying for VBAC this time around. I was pretty much a mess for that first day. We had just a few visitors, Abby and the grandparents of course, and Greg, Hazel's godfather, but I was feeling so miserable that I was actually pretty thankful we didn't have a ton of visitors that first day. I didn't hold Hazel much in those first few hours either. As soon as I'd get settled with her I'd need to throw up and without stomach muscles and being generally unable to move made it all that much harder. I was just focused on getting me better so I could bond and snuggle with my new little peanut.
Finally around 7pm I was feeling better and was able to keep some water/juice down. I was finally on the mend. We spent Tuesday at the hospital and went home on Wednesday afternoon. It was a much shorter stay than with Abby. Part of that was because I was ready to be home with my own stuff and my family and the other part was that I was much less nervous this time around. I'd been here, done this before and I was ready!
I LOVE this picture. Abby really is a great big sister. There were lots of things I worried about in the days/weeks/months preceding Hazel's birth. I was worried Abby would be jealous of the baby, she's not. I worried she'd regress into needing/wanting Paci's again, she didn't. Or that we'd take steps backward in potty training, we didn't. She's really rolled with the changes and embraces being a big sister. She loves Hazel and will help in so many ways. When Hazel starts to cry she quickly comes to tell me and then runs to find a paci for her. She'll grab blankets and diapers for me whenever I ask and she loves giving her kisses/hugs and "pets". She's been amazing with all the change and I'm so proud of her.
That being said, this transition hasn't been smooth sailing in every way. I'm seeing a lot more "terrible 2's" attitude from Abby and she's quick to have meltdowns but we're getting through that. All the change is hard for her and she's so good with Hazel that I just have to remember to keep my cool, be patient and give her time to adjust to the change. She's extra clingy to me sometimes and wants nothing to do with me others...she gets a little jealous when I say that need to feed Hazel and tries to climb in my lap too awhile I feed her but I certainly can't complain about both of my babies crawling into my lap to snuggle.
Having two is much different than having one, but my heart has grown in ways that you can't even imagine and I am so happy to be here, in this place, in our lives. I told someone the other day that my life feels very "full" these days and while sometimes that feels overwhelming, it's never a bad thing and I am so thankful for all the miracles that brought us to this point.