Originally written January 5th, 2012
I'm pretty sure that about captures my reaction 100% when I was peering down at the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter on Christmas day. Back when I started this blog nearly a year and a half ago now I did it in hopes of capturing those little moments that we all too quickly forget about. A baby on the way certainly isn't a "little" thing and it will change our lives forever but I decided last night that I was going to blog my way through this pregnancy just like I do the rest of our lives.
Nobody will be reading this post until after we've officially announced our news so it really is just like a little diary for myself right now. Once we announce our news I will go ahead and publish these posts for everyone to back read if they'd like, but in all honesty they are for Ryan and I and our newest addition. Someday our little one will be able to look back on these blog posts and read all about the way they changed our lives. I went back and forth on the whole idea (thinking about keeping a real handwritten diary) but settled on keeping one main outlet for our family news, so here goes nothing!
We've nicknamed you "Sesame" for now. Well, more accurately, Chris nicknamed you that. You see, by the time we started telling people about you you were about the size of a little sesame seed. So tiny, but you are growing each and every day, right now you are about the size of an apple seed, and next week, a blueberry.
So Sesame here is your story!
I took an at home pregnancy test on Christmas day. Your dad and I had been hoping to have you for a few months with no luck so I really honestly didn't believe the test when I saw it. It looked really funny, and I've always joked about the people that don't know if they are pregnant or not. It seems pretty simple. 1 line = no, 2 lines = yes. But, I admit, when I was looking at that test, I really couldn't tell if there was 1 line or 2. I was so unsure that I didn't even tell Ryan. I planned on calling the doctor the next day and having them order a blood test for me. This was standard procedure at this point, as I'd been excited that you were there before. You see, back in October I was 99.9% sure I was pregnant and then the blood test came back negative. I was disappointed, and I didn't want to get all excited again for nothing.
Monday, December 26th, I called the doctor and they asked me to stop by with my chart. My smart doctor had me charting my temperature each morning before I got out of bed to try and understand my cycle better (sorry boys, I know you don't care about all of this). So, I headed over and waited for a nurse to see me. These were her words exactly "This looks great!".
Me: "What do you mean it looks great?"
Nurse: "I'm pretty sure you are pregnant!"....
Me: "Wait, what? Really?? How do you know"
Nurse: "Well see here how your temperature still hasn't dropped...that means you are probably pregnant".
My head was spinning!! They sent me for blood test to confirm but I was so excited I couldn't wait a minute longer to tell Ryan. I called him and told him the "maybe" good news! I didn't envision a phone call being the way I'd tell Ryan our lives were about to change forever, but that's life....shit happens.
I got the official word on Tuesday, December 27th that you and I were about to spend the next 10 months VERY close to one another. The doctor had ordered another blood test for Wednesday to see if everything was progressing as it should so we decided not to tell anyone until we got those results back. I say "we" but Ryan was busting at the seems to tell the world. He is such a proud Dad already!!
Everything came back good (mostly, I'm on some special meds to make sure you stay right where you are) so on Thursday I called my Mom and Dad in Cabo to tell them the good news. I didn't expect them to answer the phone when I called so I was surprised to hear my Dad's voice on the phone. They are so excited to meet you!! So so excited! They were screaming and crying and couldn't stop smiling. Dad said Mom cried for about 10 minutes and then couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day!
Friday we told Dan and Ellyn the great news. We were headed to the lake for New Years Eve and knew we were going to have to spill the beans to some of the cousins and we wanted our parents to be the first to know. They are also so excited to meet you. You are going to be one loved (and spoiled) little baby.
This post is getting long (and without pictures to keep everyone interested) so I'm going to try and squish a lot in. We fessed up to the cousins (Chris/Brenna, Sarah/Dan, and Meg/Greg) and the sisters on Friday December 30th so the little circle of people that knows about you is quickly growing. Your Aunt Joey is pregnant with your little cousin, Kayden, and will be here about 3 months before you so you will have tons to talk about in the coming years. And Aunt Erin is so excited that she has already said she's flying in on your birthday.
A few other close friends know, but we are really keeping you our little secret for about another week. I have an appointment for an ultrasound on Tuesday, Jan 10th and we will find out your birthday. So, at least until then, we are keeping you under wraps!!
All that being said, you are certainly making your presence known to me right now. About 2 days ago I started to feel like crap. You've got my tummy feeling sick most of the day. They should really call it DAY sickness, not morning sickness. I've got some tea and some little candies that have been helping a little, but I've been eating nothing but soup and crackers for about 3 days now. Your Dad joked the I will be the skinniest fat lady ever. I made dinner the past two nights, salivating the whole way through food prep, only to turn my nose up at it moments after it hits my plate. You've really got me feeling pretty sick these days Sesame. I can't wait til you grow a little bigger and we get past this stage. I'm doing my best to embrace and be excited about all these changes, but right now I just fell plain sick!
More to come little one....but for now, I've got to get some work done.