Originally written January 19th 2012
Well little one, you gave us quite a scare last night. I debated writing this post and I like to keep it light here on the Blog (no sense in getting all down on the things that aren't going quite as we'd planned), but life is made up of both ups, and downs, so here goes nothing.
Yesterday afternoon I noticed that I was bleeding, more than I had been before. I was immediately concerned so I called to doctors office and they quickly scheduled us for an ultrasound at the ER. It sounds worse than it was, the doctors office was about to close for the evening and they only do ultrasounds in the morning. They really wanted to get me answers, and quickly so they had me go through the ER. They told me to drink 32 oz of water before coming and not to pee before hand. Boy, was that the WORST IDEA EVER! I mean, have you ever tried to drink that much water in an hour and then not pee? Terrible. I was bouncing all over the place while I was waiting to be called back to my room. It's probably a good thing, because I couldn't think of anything other than not peeing, so I couldn't over analyze and stress over what was going on with you while I waited.
The nurse was very sweet and quickly did the ultrasound telling me only that "it looked ok" and then letting me go to the bathroom so I could concentrate and listen. Actually, as soon as she put the thing on my belly she said "wow, you really DO have to go". I guess all that water makes a difference and she could defiantly tell that my time was limited in the "just hold it" department. HA! Oh, and I got this picture of you for all my worry/effort :O)
So we had a very eventful few hours last night. Things look good, "for now" since that is all they can really say. The doctor called me soon after I got home and said she took a look at the pictures and everything looks good. She's pretty much got me on lock down right now though. I'm not supposed to be walking around much, and they weren't too keen on me coming to work but I work at a desk job, I'm sitting all day. So, I promised to keep my feet up as much as possible and they cleared me for work. No gym until after Monday and I'm supposed to take it slow this weekend.
This past Tuesday my Aunt Mary passed away, she had cancer and had been fighting it for a few years now. We all sort of knew it was coming as she'd decided to stop treatment back in November. The funeral is this weekend in Rheinlander, about a 6.5 hour drive from our house in Northern Wisconsin. There is a big snow storm headed our way this weekend and with the new orders from the doctor I'm not sure if Ryan and I will still try to make the trip. Right now I'm leaning towards yes, because sitting in the car for 6.5 hours each way is the same things as sitting on the couch so why the heck not, but we will see.
All this is to say that I am finally able to understand why my mom worries so much about me. You see, from the very first day I knew about you down there I've worried about you. Not every second of every day, but I've definitely prayed and hoped that all would be ok. I've thought about you and wondered what your life will be like. It's not something that is easy to explain, but I imagine it only gets harder from here on out. So, to all you mom's out there, I finally get it. These babies are truly a part of you from day one, and no matter how much you try to NOT worry, you do....you can't help it! It's just part of being a mom.
Also, I keep forgetting! Your "maybe birthday" is August 30th. It seems like a LONG time from now but here's to hoping that it all goes quickly and smoothly! If we could have a few "good weeks" here I would sure appreciate that. You've proved to be quite the little stinker between the all day sickness, and all these extra doctors appointments I could really use a few weeks of nice and normal.