From me to baby

Originally written January 9th, 2012

Well little one, you've been keeping me pretty sick these days.  I was so happy that we had a low key weekend planned and I got to spend most of it in my PJ's on the couch.  It's not Ry's favorite way to spend a weekend but it sure is mine.

We have our first doctor's appointment tomorrow so I'm sure I will have some news to share with you then (like your "maybe" Birthday!) but for now I just felt like telling you what's been up with me.  They really shouldn't call it morning sickness, it's more like "all sickness" but who am I to start changing things like that :O)  I'm sick pretty much every day and have given up on fighting it and just let it happen. 

I seem to be craving anything cold right now.  Like fruit, or pickels or ice cream (my favorite!).  It's not really craving, its more that cold things are the only things that sound good to me right now.  Oh, and French Fries....those too.  I think cold things don't smell as strongly, which is part of it.  Other than that, it's pretty much crackers and Peanut Butter for me lately.

Update:

Here are the pictures from our January 10th doctors appointment (8 weeks pregnant).

Can you see it?  The baby sort of looks like a blob (or a Sesame, since that's it's current nickname).  The baby is facing towards the right and you can see the head at the top...maybe a little arm pointing out towards the right as well.

These two are even harder to see...dont worry, they get better, keep reading the other posts :O)

Quite a scare!

Originally written January 19th 2012

Well little one, you gave us quite a scare last night.  I debated writing this post and I like to keep it light here on the Blog (no sense in getting all down on the things that aren't going quite as we'd planned), but life is made up of both ups, and downs, so here goes nothing.

Yesterday afternoon I noticed that I was bleeding, more than I had been before.  I was immediately concerned so I called to doctors office and they quickly scheduled us for an ultrasound at the ER.  It sounds worse than it was, the doctors office was about to close for the evening and they only do ultrasounds in the morning.  They really wanted to get me answers, and quickly so they had me go through the ER.  They told me to drink 32 oz of water before coming and not to pee before hand.  Boy, was that the WORST IDEA EVER!  I mean, have you ever tried to drink that much water in an hour and then not pee?  Terrible.  I was bouncing all over the place while I was waiting to be called back to my room.  It's probably a good thing, because I couldn't think of anything other than not peeing, so I couldn't over analyze and stress over what was going on with you while I waited.

The nurse was very sweet and quickly did the ultrasound telling me only that "it looked ok" and then letting me go to the bathroom so I could concentrate and listen.  Actually, as soon as she put the thing on my belly she said "wow, you really DO have to go".  I guess all that water makes a difference and she could defiantly tell that my time was limited in the "just hold it" department.  HA!  Oh, and I got this picture of you for all my worry/effort :O)

So we had a very eventful few hours last night.  Things look good, "for now" since that is all they can really say.  The doctor called me soon after I got home and said she took a look at the pictures and everything looks good.  She's pretty much got me on lock down right now though.  I'm not supposed to be walking around much, and they weren't too keen on me coming to work but I work at a desk job, I'm sitting all day.  So, I promised to keep my feet up as much as possible and they cleared me for work.  No gym until after Monday and I'm supposed to take it slow this weekend.

This past Tuesday my Aunt Mary passed away, she had cancer and had been fighting it for a few years now.  We all sort of knew it was coming as she'd decided to stop treatment back in November.  The funeral is this weekend in Rheinlander, about a 6.5 hour drive from our house in Northern Wisconsin.  There is a big snow storm headed our way this weekend and with the new orders from the doctor I'm not sure if Ryan and I will still try to make the trip.  Right now I'm leaning towards yes, because sitting in the car for 6.5 hours each way is the same things as sitting on the couch so why the heck not, but we will see.

All this is to say that I am finally able to understand why my mom worries so much about me.  You see, from the very first day I knew about you down there I've worried about you.  Not every second of every day, but I've definitely prayed and hoped that all would be ok.  I've thought about you and wondered what your life will be like.  It's not something that is easy to explain, but I imagine it only gets harder from here on out.  So, to all you mom's out there, I finally get it.  These babies are truly a part of you from day one, and no matter how much you try to NOT worry, you do....you can't help it!  It's just part of being a mom.

Also, I keep forgetting!  Your "maybe birthday" is August 30th.  It seems like a LONG time from now but here's to hoping that it all goes quickly and smoothly!  If we could have a few "good weeks" here I would sure appreciate that.  You've proved to be quite the little stinker between the all day sickness, and all these extra doctors appointments I could really use a few weeks of nice and normal.

Wait...is that like "for real"???

Originally written January 5th, 2012

I'm pretty sure that about captures my reaction 100% when I was peering down at the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter on Christmas day.  Back when I started this blog nearly a year and a half ago now I did it in hopes of capturing those little moments that we all too quickly forget about.  A baby on the way certainly isn't a "little" thing and it will change our lives forever but I decided last night that I was going to blog my way through this pregnancy just like I do the rest of our lives.

Nobody will be reading this post until after we've officially announced our news so it really is just like a little diary for myself right now.  Once we announce our news I will go ahead and publish these posts for everyone to back read if they'd like, but in all honesty they are for Ryan and I and our newest addition.  Someday our little one will be able to look back on these blog posts and read all about the way they changed our lives.  I went back and forth on the whole idea (thinking about keeping a real handwritten diary) but settled on keeping one main outlet for our family news, so here goes nothing!

We've nicknamed you "Sesame" for now.  Well, more accurately, Chris nicknamed you that.  You see, by the time we started telling people about you you were about the size of a little sesame seed.  So tiny, but you are growing each and every day, right now you are about the size of an apple seed, and next week, a blueberry.

So Sesame here is your story!

I took an at home pregnancy test on Christmas day.  Your dad and I had been hoping to have you for a few months with no luck so I really honestly didn't believe the test when I saw it.  It looked really funny, and I've always joked about the people that don't know if they are pregnant or not.  It seems pretty simple.  1 line = no, 2 lines = yes.  But, I admit, when I was looking at that test, I really couldn't tell if there was 1 line or 2.  I was so unsure that I didn't even tell Ryan.  I planned on calling the doctor the next day and having them order a blood test for me.  This was standard procedure at this point, as I'd been excited that you were there before.  You see, back in October I was 99.9% sure I was pregnant and then the blood test came back negative.  I was disappointed, and I didn't want to get all excited again for nothing. 

Monday, December 26th, I called the doctor and they asked me to stop by with my chart.  My smart doctor had me charting my temperature each morning before I got out of bed to try and understand my cycle better (sorry boys, I know you don't care about all of this).  So, I headed over and waited for a nurse to see me.  These were her words exactly "This looks great!". 
Me:  "What do you mean it looks great?" 
Nurse:  "I'm pretty sure you are pregnant!"....
Me:  "Wait, what?  Really??  How do you know" 
Nurse:  "Well see here how your temperature still hasn't dropped...that means you are probably pregnant". 

My head was spinning!!  They sent me for blood test to confirm but I was so excited I couldn't wait a minute longer to tell Ryan.  I called him and told him the "maybe" good news!  I didn't envision a phone call being the way I'd tell Ryan our lives were about to change forever, but that's life....shit happens.

I got the official word on Tuesday, December 27th that you and I were about to spend the next 10 months VERY close to one another.  The doctor had ordered another blood test for Wednesday to see if everything was progressing as it should so we decided not to tell anyone until we got those results back.  I say "we" but Ryan was busting at the seems to tell the world.  He is such a proud Dad already!! 

Everything came back good (mostly, I'm on some special meds to make sure you stay right where you are) so on Thursday I called my Mom and Dad in Cabo to tell them the good news.  I didn't expect them to answer the phone when I called so I was surprised to hear my Dad's voice on the phone.  They are so excited to meet you!!  So so excited!  They were screaming and crying and couldn't stop smiling.  Dad said Mom cried for about 10 minutes and then couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day!

Friday we told Dan and Ellyn the great news.  We were headed to the lake for New Years Eve and knew we were going to have to spill the beans to some of the cousins and we wanted our parents to be the first to know.  They are also so excited to meet you.  You are going to be one loved (and spoiled) little baby. 

This post is getting long (and without pictures to keep everyone interested) so I'm going to try and squish a lot in.  We fessed up to the cousins (Chris/Brenna, Sarah/Dan, and Meg/Greg) and the sisters on Friday December 30th so the little circle of people that knows about you is quickly growing.  Your Aunt Joey is pregnant with your little cousin, Kayden, and will be here about 3 months before you so you will have tons to talk about in the coming years.  And Aunt Erin is so excited that she has already said she's flying in on your birthday. 

A few other close friends know, but we are really keeping you our little secret for about another week.  I have an appointment for an ultrasound on Tuesday, Jan 10th and we will find out your birthday.  So, at least until then, we are keeping you under wraps!!

All that being said, you are certainly making your presence known to me right now.  About 2 days ago I started to feel like crap.  You've got my tummy feeling sick most of the day.  They should really call it DAY sickness, not morning sickness.  I've got some tea and some little candies that have been helping a little, but I've been eating nothing but soup and crackers for about 3 days now.  Your Dad joked the I will be the skinniest fat lady ever.  I made dinner the past two nights, salivating the whole way through food prep, only to turn my nose up at it moments after it hits my plate.  You've really got me feeling pretty sick these days Sesame.  I can't wait til you grow a little bigger and we get past this stage.  I'm doing my best to embrace and be excited about all these changes, but right now I just fell plain sick! 

More to come little one....but for now, I've got to get some work done.

The McGrath Family is EXPANDING (again!)

Remember a few months back when I wrote that the McGrath family was expanding?  Remember, how there were like 8 million Facebook comments that everyone was SURE we were having a baby?  And how I just laughed it off and celebrated that my little play on words tricked you all.

Well....today it's not a trick.  The McGrath's truly are expanding....in more ways than one.  My belly is the first place we are seeing the changes but in about 6 more months our house will be filled with the sounds of a baby cooing and crying.  EK!!

We've waited through the official first tri-mester to fess up to our little secret and we are happy to announce that we are expecting "Sesame" (the baby's nickname courtesy of cousin Chris) on August 30th, 2012!!  It's already been a roller coaster of emotions and I've kindly blogged a few posts (and kept the a secret from you all).  So, if you are interested, feel free to read back about 2  months and see what we've been up to.  Here are some pictures from our most recent appointment.

Can you see it?  The baby's head is facing toward the right...in the bottom one you can see a distinct nose, and a little hand above it, like he/she is about to start sucking his thumb.

As you know, its been pretty quite around the blog lately.  Partly because we've been busy but not with anything noteworthy and partly because I didn't want to accidentally spill the baby beans too early.  I was very nervous to get too excited about all of this knowing that so many things can go wrong in those first 3 months, but we've turned the corner on that now and although there are probably plenty of bumps in the road between now and August, I'm finally ready to celebrate and start the full swing baby planning.

Ryan on the other hand as been busting at the seems since I told him on Dec 26th that I was pretty sure we had a bun in the oven.  We've told family members and close friends but he's been itching to make Sesame "FBO" (Facebook Official) - his words, not mine!  So, here goes nothing.  We are announcing our amazing news to the whole wide world today and we couldn't be more excited.

Since I'm sure you are all itching to hear the story, check back to my original post on January 5th where I share lots of details about how and when I found out and how we shared our news with some of the most important people in our lives. 

There are a few other posts out there that I've been hiding until we were ready to share our news with the Internet world so feel free to check those out if you are interested.  I plan to blog our way through the pregnancy just as I've done with all the other events in our lives over the past year and a half or so.  So for those of you that have been religiously checking back to see if there's been anything new on the blog, get ready for the posts to start flying again.  March's calendar is filling up quickly and I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of spring when our adventures really start to ramp up.

In the mean time, here are a few commonly asked questions and my answers:

1.  Are you going to find out if it's a boy our a girl? 
Nope!  (I know right!).  Ryan and I have decided that we want it to be a surprise up until the last moment.  Heck, there aren't many great surprises left in life like this one, so we are going to keep our little Sesame a secret until his/her Birthday.

2.  Names? 
Yep, we've started throwing some name around.  We've got 3 "winners" on both the boy and the girl side but we've got a long 6 months in front of us so who knows, they could change 8 million times between now and then.  Here's what we've been thinking (at least for now).

Girls: Abigail, Katherine, Elsa (its a combo of Ellyn and Sally...our mom's names)
      * no matter what I've settled on Pearl as a middle name for a girl.  It's my Grandma's name and I can't wait to pass it on to a little daughter of mine.

Boys:  Benjamin, Kyle, Jacob.  The boy's names have been a bit harder for us.  Ry is currently pushing for Thomas/Tommy (gag!  Sorry to all the Tom's out there...its not personal!), which I am anti...but who knows.  August is still far away and lots can change between now and then.

3.  Is Ry going to build the crib? 
Heck yeah!  A girl's gotta take advantage of her hubbies talents whenever she can and a crib is the perfect place to show of all he's got!  We've got the pattern all picked out and he will start building it in the coming months.  We don't have any space for it now and are waiting to hear on the house we put an offer in on before getting too far with the crib.

4.  Diapers...
Ok, I know everybody is wondering "what the heck does she mean diapers?  Like, she's planning on not using them?  What?"  No, don't be silly, babies need diapers and we know that!  But, I have decided that we are going rogue and are going to try out cloth diapers.  I've done a ton of research on it and I think it's a good choice for us.  I'm not going to be adamant about it and if it doesn't work for us then we will scrap the idea and go for the normal kind, but I'm at least going to give it my best and try it out.  They've come a long way since when we were kids and my sister and I were both raised in cloth.  We turned out normal (at least if you ask me!).  Ha!  So stay tuned for more info on that (if that's the kind of thing you care about *smile).

5.  Are you going to go back to work?
Yep.  With Fox River Millwork still growing and expanding, we still need both our incomes to make life function.  So I will be coming back to work after my maternity leave expires.  I'm not sure yet what we will do about child care, but we've got time to figure it out.  Mostly, the issue lies in not knowing where we will be living.  Like I mentioned, we put an offer in on a short sale back in November and are patiently (we try) waiting to hear back on it.  The new house is roughly an hour or so from our current town house so it makes planning tough, since everything will need to change if we move.  The "crazy planner of all things that can be planned" in me is getting a little anxious about the whole "up in the air-ness" of our lives right now.  But, hey, it's life and I can't change a single thing about it.  It will all work out and I'm working on enjoying each day as it comes.

6.  Are you showing yet?
Well, if you ask me, YES!  But, I suppose I'd be the first to notice.  My smart husband has been very careful not to mention my growing belly if he's noticed it.  But, to everyone else that sees me every day they think I look pretty much the same.  The clothes (and winter) are still hiding my expanding waist, but boy, let me tell you what, my jeans sure aren't fitting anymore.  I started using the hair-tie method about a week ago and am pretty sure I'll be in maternity wear sooner than I'd have expected. 

What else?  Is there anything else you guys are dying to know?  Half of your are probably saying to yourself "she should just rename the blog to something like "the McGrath's Baby blog" but don't worry, it wont be all baby, all the time.  Promise!  To the other half of you, ask away! 

January showers bring Feburary babies?? (For Kristina's sake, I sure hope so!)

First off, old business. I know, there's been alot of radio silence around my blog lately.  January has been strangely crazy and uneventful at the same time.  A few weeks back I posted that you'd have Ski Trip pictures to look forward to, but sadly Ryan and I didn't make it on our annual ski trip this year.  A few days before our trip my Aunt Mary passed away. 

I usually try to keep things positive around here (I mean, we all have things that get us down during the day...why focus on them and post them for eternity on the web?) but life isn't all like a Lisa Frank trapper keeper (you know, rainbows and unicorns), and sometime sad things happen.  Mary died too young, and she left behind my youngest cousin Lydia and her husband Charlie.  It was a sad weekend, but, it didn't really come as a surprise to us.  Back around Thanksgiving Mary stopped treatment for ovarian cancer (which developed into all other sorts of cancer).  The doctors said that she could choose to fight, but it would be a long hard battle and the outlook was bleak. 

But, that's not the way that I choose to remember my dear Aunt.  I'll never forget a conversation we had near the campfire at the Lake.  Mary, with a year old baby, was wearing a pair of maternity shorts.  When I asked why she'd kept them this long (as she probably weighed a total of 115 lbs and about my height), she pulled up her T-shirt to show me a can of beer tucked neatly inside the elastic.  She said she liked the extra storage.  Ha! 

I'll love you forever Mary and will think of you often.  Miss you all the time!

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This past weekend we celebrated Kristina's baby shower.  She is due Feb 25th and looks so amazing!!  Lorna (her mom) and I hosted the shower on Saturday afternoon.  Actually, that's not totally fair.  Kristina offered to have the shower at her house so she had to do all the cleaning :O)  Lorna and I just took care of the food/drinks/decor and all the minor details.  The shower was beautiful (if I do say so myself) and Stina got quite the pile of loot!!

Look at that pretty momma!

Check out that pile!!  That rainbow colored one in the middle is the baby blanket I knitted for the baby.  It turned out good, although I wish I could have figured out better seams.  Of course, I wrapped it before remembering to take any pictures for you.  Maybe I'll grab a few pics the next time I'm home.

My favorite present was a cute little pair of Carhart pants and a shirt.  They were just the cutest things!

Two of my favorite ladies!  Irina drove all the way out just for the shower.  I'd give her the prize for the farthest drive but with Mike's family living in the city as well, I think they tie. 

All it all it was a great day and it was fun to hang out with some amazing ladies.